Hypnosis & Weight Loss: Positive Living with Didi Vergados & Aida Memisevic

 

Hypnosis & Weight Loss: Positive Living with Didi Vergados & Aida Memisevic Transcript

Positive Living with Didi Vergados and Aida Memisevic on Hypnosis Weight Loss

Mike: This is Positive Living, produced in conjunction with positive living TV and Red Fish studios. Now here’s you good buddy, used car sales man? No, Aida.

Aida: Yeah, thanks Mike. Ok, welcome to Positive Living. In our studio with us again, is my good friend Didi Vergados. And Didi specializes in hypnotic patterns and all sorts of minds techniques. So, Didi welcome to the studio today. Hello

Didi: Hello, hello

Aida: I love our topic today because you are actually an expert in this area that we’re talking about; food addiction, weight loss, our relationship with food, the mental processes about how do we get the results we get in our life around this whole topic. And one of the things we focus on here in Positive Living is, about how we think and how we see the world. It’s like, call it a brain boot camp, we really wanna share with people some of those strategies. So, Didi welcome.

Didi: Thank you. Thank you.

Aida: And we’re going talk about some exciting things around weight loss and food addiction.

Didi: Absolutely and especially as it pertains to our mind and our state of mind because the truth is, was it your stomach, your distended over full stomach telling you to eat more and take second portions and binge…..Na nan a. It all comes from upstairs doesn’t it?

Aida: It absolutely does and I think a lot of people….I don’t know if we realize the extent, to how much running our brain around this issue impacts the result.

Didi: Yes. People are completely unaware cause for the most part, a lot of us are walking on what I’d like to call automaton. It’s like we’re not aware of our thoughts and we’re certainly not using them in a very intentional or directed way in which we can, again we always talked about moving forward getting through things, finding out what’s stopping us and getting over it.

Aida: I love those words intentional and directed. So, it’s like, when you’re thinking about weight loss or being healthy and all those things that come along with it. So again, what are you thinking about? Pay attention to what you’re thinking about because that’s huge in terms of your results, Isn’t it?

Didi: Pay attention particularly to your state of mind. And I learned this at a very young age because I had the unfortunate circumstance of thinking when I was like 11 years old that I was too fat.

Aida: Oh, I love your story. Tell your story-tell your story.

Didi: What I did was, I basically binged and starved myself for the next 10 years which resulted in weight gain. And then when I looked at pictures of myself, I actually wasn’t fat, but I did balloon up like 35-40lbs. I was on what I called the weight loss wheel; it’s like binging, dieting gaining, losing, obsessive thinking, like you just have no peace no matter how you look at it.

Aida: Okay now, just for those, she is in studio and she is a slim, hot, little redhead, let me tell you people so that’s obviously not an issue anymore. And I want to ask you, at what point in your life did that changed and what occurred for you? Like, because I know that right now you’re specializing in this area with people so tell us your own story, how did you learn about this?

Didi: It was when I started to run some of the NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques on myself and one I’d like to talk to you today is the slender eating strategy.

Aida: Yeah, I love this one. I know but this one too.

Didi: Yeah because I believe you use it as well. I started observing my state of mind and I thought this is fascinating. Whenever I go on a diet the minute I walk into a grocery store, if I haven’t had ice cream in 6 months, all of a sudden, I noticed that ice cream and I start thinking, oh, but I can’t have it and then you get into this conflict. You’re like, well I can’t have it, but I really want it, but I can’t have it, but I really want it. And if I don’t have it, that means I suffer and I’m deprived, if I do have it, it means I failed. So, you’ve literally set up your state of mind for failure no matter how you cut it.

Aida: Alright. So, what are you doing about it?

Didi; Yeah. So very dis=empowering. So, what we try to do with it is, if you’re a dieter it’s like, I’m going use my will power and I’m goin overcome it but how long is will power going to last? If you’ve got to lose 100lbs and your journey is going to be a year or so, how long is that will power going use? So, the first thing is, is to not get into what I call the dieter “state of mind”. The dieter state of mine is, all or nothing, failure or success. Cause as you know many of use know people that have gone on diets and they’ve done exceptionally well, and they followed it to a T for 3 months and then their will power starts to give out. And as soon as their will power start to give out, they start to cheat a little bit but then they flip over that edge to the extreme. Again, binge or starve, black or white; there’s no middle with dieters. You’re either doing well or you’re off the diet. And once they flip. that’s when they gain all the weigh back. It’s like, oh well, I failed, I might as well keep going, I might as well keep eating.

Aida: Alright, so let’s talk about this technique and I remember reading about it years ago when I was taking my certification with NLP and for those of you that don’t know what NLP is, it’s called, it’s stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming and it’s really a strategy. It looks at modeling human excellence and how we run our brain. I really like it because it’s very specific. So, with the naturally slender eating pattern, I’m going to sort of summarize and then Didi you can comment on it. But basically, you’re looking at, when you go to eat something, ok, so let’s say you look at a chocolate bar or a salad and you pay attention to what you’re thinking about at the moment. Now people that tend to be naturally slender, what they do is they think about how it’s going to feel in your body after they’ve eaten it. So, after they’ve eaten it, is like how does it feel? Is it recharging me, is it energizing, is going to my body and giving me these healthy things to make me grow and be strong and empower my body or eewh is that piece of triple chocolate cake going to sit in my stomach; sit in my gut. So, people that have this natural ability, always think about how it’s going to feel afterwards as opposed to people that eat whatever they want; just think about getting the moment. So, you actually have to train your brain to do this, right? Now expand on what I just shared.

Didi: Essentially, you’re trying it on first. So, you’re trying it on first but the other thing that the slender eating strategy does is says, let’s go into this very intentionally, okay. Let’s decide, what is the best food I can eat, that’s going to last me the next 4 hours and bring my energy up. So, if you’re starving, and we use a hunger scale for this, on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being famished, 0 being full, where are you at? So if I’m at a level 9 meaning I’m starving and I eat a chocolate bar, what are the impacts of that going to be to my body, my energy? And if you take it inside, and you imagine doing it first and you’re a level 9 hunger and you just look at that and you say, you know what, it’s going to give me energy for about 20 minutes and then I’m going to crash and I’m going to crash it further down and I’m still going to be hungry. So, let’s X out that choice and let’s choose something that’s going to last me for the next 4 hours and bring my energy up because when you’re really hungry, your energy goes down.

Aida: Yeah. And I think that this whole idea of taking a moment to just think about how that food is going to feel in your body, is it going to give you the nutrition you want? Just stop and take that moment, that’s really-really critical because otherwise you’re on this routine where you just eat whatever you want; whatever satisfies you in the moment. And I think that is such a powerful thing. For people listening, that one solid thing, just doing that one thing, which is, you’re looking at food before you eat it, think about how it’s going to feel in your body after you eat it.

Didi: And how it can work also is, if you’ve eaten a full meal and you’re satisfied and of course somebody comes around with cake and normally if you’re…I like to call it unconscious mode, it’s like you’re just, you’re operating from ‘I love cake’. It stops you from operating on unconscious and again using your mind in a very intentional way; a conscious way, where you say hmmh I’m really full, what’s it going to feel like if I eat that cake? Oh my God, you know what? I’m going to feel full, my stomach’s going to be hanging out, I’m going to feel…So, you’re more likely to turn down that cake.

Aida: Yeah. But let’s just say for the record, cake is good on occasion because let me tell you, I love my cake.

Didi: But at least you do it consciously. That’s the difference.

Aida: I do it very consciously. So, people say, oh, how do you say stay so slender and thin? You don’t have to worry about what you eat. I’m like are you kidding me, if I ate everything I want to eat all the time, I’d be 300 lbs. girl.

Didi: And that’s the thing, I see you. I saw you once-by the way Aida loves chocolate and I saw her take a piece of chocolate once [ I don’t know if you remember this] and you started gobbling it down and you said wait a second, wait a second, if I’m going to eat this piece of chocolate, I need to slow down and enjoy it. Eat it consciously because when you eat it consciously then you’re done, you’re over it, you’ve got your fill. And the thing is, you’re not going to do it as often as when you gobble it down and you are like, I didn’t even feel what that felt like.

Aida: Yeah and that’s exactly right and not only that, no guilt after. That’s the other thing that I do for myself. If I’m going to eat a piece of chocolate cake, I’m going enjoy it and there is no way I’m feeling guilty about it cause that just ruins the experience; forget that.

Didi: When you become what I call a conscious eater, and that means you’re not driven by these unknown factors, like comfort or eating emotionally, then you can find that you less often need to have that piece of cake because when you do, you’re going to sit down and say I’m going to enjoy it. When you’re eating unconsciously, and you just scarfed down a piece of cake, there’s too much guilt and shame and feelings of out of control but yet you keep doing it and that’s when you’re being driven by your unconscious behaviors; when you’re eating for reasons other than for nourishment.

Aida: Okay. So, let’s recap a couple of things. So, first of all be conscious when you’re eating. Take a moment and be conscious when you’re eating. The second point when we talked about the naturally slender eating pattern is about, think about what that food is going to feel like after you eat it. In your stomach an hour, 2hrs from now. how is it going to put nutrition into your body vs something else; just a thought process.

Didi: And it’s going to affect your energy as well. Your energy is the one most important thing because food can give you energy or it can rob you of energy depending on the food and the portion.

Aida: And what’s really interesting is what we are sharing is such a simple thing; you think that sounds real simple. It changes your life. Just doing these two things, changes everything but you have to practice it. Right Didi? It’s like you have to consciously practice it.

Didi: Yeah and then the more you practice it the more it becomes just your natural default. It’s like I look at the food and before I’ve know it, I’ve already felt it in my stomach.

Aida: Boom. And that’s the place you want to get to, but its takes a while cause you got to actually go through the process, but it is possible. The other thing I want to mention is, I’m like addicted I guess to Pilates. I do a hot Pilates class 3 or 4 times a week and I really notice something interesting. Didi I think we talked about this once, really fascinating where for the past year I’ve been noticing that the women that are working our butts off, like going to class 3 or 4 times, their body shapes have changed, how can I describe it-minimally. Like you can see the muscles in certain places, but their weight has remained the same and I was fascinated by this. I’m like, wait a minute, you are working your butt off and I am talking about like a real hardcore workout. This isn’t a mommy me class, like we are really working hard for the hour and you’re building muscle but the thing is, there weight is remaining the same and I was fascinated by this, what is happening? These women are still like say 30 lbs. overweight but underneath, their muscles have got to be strong. And what I realize in my mind is that there’s like a thermometer or gauge in which it seems that we get stuck with our weight. So, I think it has to do with how we see ourselves and it’s like even though they’re working like crazy, somehow, they’re stuck in that lb. Like, let’s say if you lose weight then you go back, it’s almost like something like you have to break through that thermometer or that gauge where you think your weight should be and it would be interesting to figure out maybe how people can do that, maybe we can talk about that.

Didi: You mean like their set point…

Aida: Set point. That’s the word I’m looking for. Yep

Didi: Ok. So, it terms of set point, I think that when you and I discussed this we thought, they’re doing everything on the exercise level but they’re probably not doing everything they should with their eating. That’s what we discussed.

Aida: That’s right. That’s right. And actually you know, funny because just before we were going to air Mike our producer, we were sharing something we gonna talk about and he was like, yeah….Mike I want you to turn on the mic here, cause I thought this is funny, I don’t know if we agree on the same point so share with us your…cause you lost a bunch a weight, right?

Didi: 85lbs you said, right?

Mike: Well, first of all I am fascinated by what you’re saying because a lot of it is really how it happened for me but just naturally. To start with, I quit drinking. The first thing if you want to lose weight and you drink a fair amount just stop and you’ll see that it just falls off your butt. Over the last 15 years my weight hasn’t fluctuated much and I think that’s because I have a certain amount of things in a week that I want to do physically, that I know will be impeded just, I guess at my core level now, at my core being I know that it will interfere with how I’ll feel doing those things or that I have experienced in the past where I know that slowed me down or hurt my stomach or gave me a headache or whatever the case is…

Aida: The food you are talking about specifically?

Mike: The food….yeah, yeah.

Didi: He was doing the natural slender. yeah

Aida: Exactly. And he didn’t even realize it and that’s what we want to do is share that with people cause your strategy worked.

Mike: It did. And I’m saying to you, just before the show, Oh, you’re so full of it, you’re overthinking it but really…

Didi: And you believed exercise was actually what did it…..your movement?

Mike: Well, I think that movement is a big factor as well. I think you can work your body out as much as you want but your body will get used to that and be able to compensate for it but if movement is a big part of your day to day existence, get rid of the chair behind the desk for an hour, stand if you have to. Get a yoga ball so that your body actually moves a little bit and stud like that. That makes a big difference. It’s made a big difference in my life.

Aida: Yeah. And this is why when we were talking earlier, this is what I would challenge you to say is that…So, in my Pilates class again, these women are not losing weight, they’re getting stronger. They’re moving but they are not losing weight. So, I bet you that when you started sometimes what happens, is when you haven’t been physically active, and you become physically active you actually start to make better choices in your food because it doesn’t feel good to move and then eat chocolate cake all the time. So actually subconsciously, if you were to record your calories before you started moving and after started moving it still boils down to that’s your calorie and your intake and your food choices are better.

Mike: But you know what else it boils down to? That’s right and you know what else it boils down to is that I wasn’t following this mindset of dieting. And it just happened naturally.

Aida: No, no you were just making better food choices. Exactly

Mike And the other thing is, I’ll just point this out and the I’ll just disappear back into the sound board, but a good neighbor of mine, Phil, he had some girt on him. The guy was post 50, I don’t even know how old he is [cross talk inaudible] He wanted to lose weight, and this is what he did, he set a goal to climb [what’s the big mountain] K2, that everybody….. Mount Kilimanjaro and so he had to get to a certain place to be able to get to where he needed to in that camp. And so, he had a goal in mind that wasn’t losing weight and it wasn’t dieting. It was I’m going to Kilimanjaro, so maybe find a mission that makes you get into better [cross talk]

Didi: oh, I need to talk about this. This is so important.

Aida: ok-ok-ok. I totally agree with you it’s a great [thank you mike by the way] it’s a great strategy to find a specific goal and work towards that. An inspiration, yeah.

Didi: An inspiration. And actually, when I work with people that’s the very first session is creating the inspiration which creates the motivation by the way. And the things that you want to get to is, what do you want and why it’s important to you and you keep asking that question why is this important to me why is this important to me and you keep taking it down-down-down levels until you get to your very core values about why it’s important. And some people when I bring them down to those very core levels, they’ll say things like I never realize but I need to do this for my children because they are watching me, and I don’t want them to have to go through struggles with food. So, it’s getting down to that, no, I don’t want to just lose weight to feel better or to look better, it like why is it really important? It’s important that when I project myself into my 60’s I see myself being flexible, limber, active, playing with my grandchildren rather than scooting around in a mobility cart.

Aida: yeah. And being alive for goodness sakes.

Didi: Yeah and being alive. So, when you start to get inspired, then you are like, I want to do this. This is no longer suffering or deprivation or dieting, it’s like, I want to do this for these important reasons. To climb Mount Kilimanjaro.

Mike: Well if you’re going to be obsessed, obsessing over calories and food and your weight is no fun at all.

Aida: Absolutely not.

Didi: And it brings you into the complete wrong state of mind that we talked about in the beginning, which is suffering and deprivation.

Aida: Yeah. And I also want to mention something about that with regards to exercise. I love my hot Pilates class I love being there and what I don’t like is I don’t like going to the gym on the weights, I can’t stand it. And put me on a treadmill, I will go out of my mind after 5 minutes; crazy. So, what I always share with people is that, find something you love. And it sounds so obvious but it’s like ok, if going to the gym doesn’t work, play squash. To me it would be like okay, if your goal is to be active and physically mobile, then keep going until you find that thing that really makes you happy and that you enjoy, whatever that is. And if you don’t like this or that, go to the third thing, if that doesn’t work, go to the fourth thing. Keep going until find something that you really enjoy.

Didi: And you might be very shocked by my opinion about exercise which Aida has heard on several occasions, which is I don’t believe in it. I don’t believe in exercise, let me tell you why. Because I have to incorporate movement as Mike said, into part of my day because I did the gym thing and I did all this and I thought again yeah I can do it I can motivate myself and all that but my quality of life, it was taking so much time and it was just [Eah], something didn’t sit right with me so what I did was, I just said, well let me start walking to work, let me start incorporating it in other ways, like the extra stairs up instead of taking the escalator and when you do it that way, it’s very natural. You don’t feel like you have to exercise it’s just being part of your day.

Aida: So, lets reframe that, it’s not actual that you don’t believe in exercise cause that’s not really right. You mean you don’t believe in having, like you have to do the traditional thing like go to the gym, that you can have other options and that’s kind of what I’m talking about.

Didi: And options that fit into you day like. even, think about the idea of going for a walk with your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your spouse. You are getting exercise and if you don’t believe this is true, I can tell them about my weight malfunction. Remember Aida?

Aida: Oh this is fun, I love this. Didi gains a couple a lbs, like I mean 3 or 4lbs, she is like, I’m on a weight malfunction. I’m like what?

Didi: I have a weight malfunction. I couldn’t figure it out for the life of me and I was embarrassed because that’s what I do for a living and normally I can tell when I fall out of alignment with one of the levels, like if I’m emotionally eating or my schedule is getting too busy and I’m not preparing the right foods but this one eluded me, I couldn’t figure out and I kept saying Aida I have a weight malfunction and I can’t figure it out.

Aida: Again, we are talking about under 5lbs people, just to be clear.

Didi: Yeah, it was 4lbs. I only ever fluctuate 4lbs

Mike: it wasn’t even detectable.

Didi: It is to me

Aida: Yea, yea go on-go on

Didi: And so, I’m trying to figure it out and I can’t for the life of me, I’m thinking cuz I’ve had my thyroid go out, maybe I should go to the doctor and figure out, is it my thyroid? is it this is that? And one day I am walking down the streets to my neighbors and I feel this uncomfortable little bit of extra 4lb pudge and it occurred to me, oh my God, I stopped walking cuz I got a car a year ago. It was just the most amazing discovery because I didn’t realize that, that little bit of exercise that I would do, walking to my office, a little…about 5 kilometers, 4 times a week. But see I didn’t consider it exercise, I didn’t even register it exercise and that’s the thing we are trying to say is, work it into you day where you don’t consider it exercise, its just part of your day.

Mike; Weren’t humans initially, aren’t we fight or flight for exercising in other words we were meant to sprint and not do long workouts.

Aida; I don’t know about that Did you read that?

Mike: I read that recently. Yeah, I’ve read that recently and the results are that sprinting and doing short bursts of exercise tend to have a, anyway…

Aida: Yeah-yeah. But I will say something though because in TV Land I have two exercise base shows and one of them is about exercising one is about food around exercise. The thing is that in order to maintain your muscle mass and to grow, especial as we grow older I will say that weight resistance training is important. So, Didi you can walk to work all you want but at some point honey well you need that weigh resistant exercise as we get older to keep our muscles or bones our entire bodies flexible and so we’re not in the wheelchair when we’re in our 60s. And the other thing that I want to mention which is really interesting that we did again on the TV show, we looked at how peopIe that, you know how there are some people they love to go work out, like you wonder how do they do it? like they just, they want to work out, they love to work out. They either get up early in the morning or even with myself now, how often I work out if you ask me a few years ago, would you love to go to Pilates class 4 sometimes 5 times a week I’d be no, hell no but something has shifted with me and then I realized when we look at the process, the mental process of which is what we talked about here on positive living. When people really want to work out how they see it and we discovered that okay, it’s like winter let’s say you want to go out and it’s cold. People that don’t like working out thinking….they focus on their thoughts about how it feels in the moment. It’s cold, when I get out of bed, I’m going to put my feet on the floor and it’s going to be cold and I’m gonna sower and so its uh uh uh. But people that work out consistently, it’s very fascinating. They think about what it’s going to feel like after. So, in the moment before they put their little feet on the floor they think about, after my body’s gonna feel good, am gonna be warm, I’m gonna feel soo great at the end of that workout and it’s such a simple thing but it is all the difference in the world. So, when you’re going to work out and you don’t like it? Take a moment, pay attention to what you’re thinking about, right Didi?

Didi: Absolutely and I do that with my hypnotic clients. I get them to anchor in the feeling of what it feels like after, before the start

Aida: explain anchoring?

Didi: Ok, anchoring is, that you recall just what it was like, how good it felt. And people will say oh I feel limber, the sweat feel so good, I feel proud of myself, accomplished and then you say, okay, now I want you to make some kind of gesture or some kind of phrase that goes along with like, yes or I did it or that’s great or I’m good or whatever it is that comes to mind. And then before you start to work out, you repeat that phrase and you feel the feeling or repeat that gesture something like, Ah yes, I love it, I’m good and that makes you want to do the work out.

Aida Yeah, because again you’re focusing your brain on how it’s going to feel after, which is what people that work at generally do and not even aware of it. So, I think the bottom line is again it goes back to pay attention to what you’re thinking about, right Didi?

Didi: And use your brain in a very intentional and directed way. And I will just give you one more thing before we close out. When you tend to as Aida said, what going to do is you’re going to naturally be more inclined to eat better because it’s like I don’t want to blow this exercise. so, what I used to do is, I use to use my mind in this way and I think it’s hilarious because the gym thing as I said wasn’t my favorite, I motivated myself to go. I can do it, if I have to do in the future I will. It’s not my primary choice but that little red number the calorie burner on the stair climber or whatever it is you do. I would look at that thing after 10 minutes and it would say a hundred and 92 calories burned and I would say what? That’s insane. I’ve been going through all this pain for a hundred and ninety two calories? So, occasionally when I was tempted to eat something and I really wanted to get through the temptation, I would picture the big red number and how hard it was and how I had struggled through that because in the beginning when you’re starting to exercise again, it’s a little difficult to do 10 minutes on the stair master .And that number, those big red numbers of a hundred and ninety two cal, it was so easy to turn down that thing.

Aida: Because and when we talk again about strategies for thinking. Thought….

Didi: Just use it

Aida: Yeah, use it. Absolutely.

Didi: In any way it works. Those big red numbers worked. It was very easy for me to say no to anything under 200 calories.

Aida: Fantastic. So again, pay attention to what you’re thinking about.

Didi: And use it in the best way you can.

Aida: Alright, thank you Didi and we’re going tune in some more for lots of great content, right here on the positive living podcast. Go to the website positivelivingtv.Com.

Mike: Positive living arrives to iTunes weekly, be sure to subscribe and tell a friend visit positive living TV, see you next time.

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